An enormous orange puffer squeezes its owner between a crowd of subway passengers

DIRECTOR’S TREATMENTA FILM BY CASSANDRA BROOKSBANK:60

RUSH HOUR — FOR DAYS THAT RUN HOT.

Basically a miniature disaster movie on a subway.

AXE // RUSH HOUR :6072H SWEAT PROTECTION.

Let’s Get Wet

I absolutely flipped when I first read this script. This is the stuff I LIVE for: irreverent comedy, hyperrealistic action, a fun and poppy style, and an opportunity to get creative in the edit. It’s bonkers in the best way and I can relate!

We’ve all had those moments when your body betrays you: Losing your voice on that important call. Having to go to the bathroom when you’re stuck in traffic. And worst of all, sweating uncontrollably just when you need to stay cool. When the water works start… they spiral. The more you try to fix the situation, the worse it gets! It’s a domino effect that leads straight to hell. But lucky for us, AXE is on the job.

What I LOVE about this spot is it takes these moments and pushes them to infinity. We’ve all felt like a human fountain. In this case, our hero is LITERALLY spurting geysers. Subtlety ain’t for us, folks! We say what we need to say, and we say it with a SPLASH! Pushing these very real feelings into the surreal is what makes this spot memorable. Audiences will remember US the next time they make it rain, and lucky for them, AXE is only a short train ride away.

Four original reference stills beneath the black tile and orange platform stripe

The Story

Basically a miniature disaster movie on a subway. This is what happens when you forget your AXE antiperspirant in the morning!

In order to give you a better idea of how I see RUSH HOUR, the following is a script breakdown of what I see happening on-screen and the feelings it will convey. This is a :60 spot, giving us room to build the pressure before all hell breaks loose. These are very fast paced cuts, especially when we get into the main storyline of the water bursting through the jacket. Things like the extreme close ups of water ripping through the fabric or whip pans to passengers being hit with sweat will only be on screen for a few frames, but will really add to the context of what’s happening.

Let’s get into it!

The diagonal yellow platform edge and orange floor overlap the story tiles and continue into Rush Hour

01 RUSH HOUR.

The doors slide open on a subway to reveal—rush hour! To say this train is “full” is an understatement. It’s the type of commute that makes you hate public transit. People push and shove, jostling for position. Just your average Tuesday on the subway, eh?

Against this throng, our eye lands on a man in a BRIGHT ORANGE PUFFER JACKET coming toward us and pushing his way inside. He’s got a friendly face, cool sneaks… but he’s had a rough day. He’s weighed down by his backpack and hustles to get inside. All he wants in this cruel world is to get home and crash.

↻ The pressure cookerSource ↗

Our orange-puffer hero boards a packed carriage between continuous orange rails

We track toward our dude as he shuffles down the aisle, squeezing through commuters and the token weirdos that somehow always find themselves on his train. He passes a nun, a guy on crutches, a rich lady with a dog, a germaphobe, some influencers filming themselves, and a woman trying to finish her makeup. He squeezes into the only sliver of a seat available as the train takes off. Just his luck, he’s wedged between a man engrossed in his laptop and a mom with a baby. There is absolutely nowhere to go.

02 THE PRESSURE COOKER.

Now, inside the train, we’re going to put this poor guy in a pressure cooker. We’re building tension, increasing the claustrophobia and stress on this train from hell. What’s the forecast? Humid. Condensation drips down windows that are fogged.

From the look of the passengers’ clothing, it’s that time of year where it’s cold outside, but hot as balls inside. Our dude is toasty. The sound of the train increases in pitch, a rising sound building the tension. We’re in a close up on a long lens, pushing in and rotating a bit dutch as he shuffles uncomfortably against the movement of the train, trying to air out his collar. Sweat drips down his forehead.

We cut to the front when suddenly, his jacket starts expanding, weighed down by the POOLS OF SWEAT dripping from under his arms. We pull back as the jacket expands. TALK ABOUT A FASHION EMERGENCY! The perspiration is trapped inside his waterproof jacket and has nowhere to go!

The barking dog, hot orange collar and crowded carriage, held by complete orange rails

The jacket gets bigger. And BIGGER. It’s basically a giant water balloon taking over the subway car. The chihuahua starts barking. Our hero panics, struggling to keep his jacket contained, but it’s growing fast and starts bulging up against the other passengers who notice something has gone seriously, seriously wrong. The swelling orange bulk presses into the mom beside him. She pulls her baby close and leans away, glaring at our guy. He tries to make himself smaller. The jacket has other plans.

Our dude is mortified. He frantically tries to compress the jacket back down, pushing his arms against the sides. Unfortunately this has the opposite effect… The jacket starts self-destructing. Rip. Tear. We hear the groan of the fabric and the strain of seams breaking. Our hero’s eyes go wide… KAPOWIE!

03 ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.

The pressure blows off a button with a geyser of perspiration. SPLASH! The stream hits the germaphobe who freaks. Back with our hero in a losing battle trying to plug his holes. SNAP! CRACKLE! POP! The jacket springs three more leaks.

We WHIP PAN with the stream to see SWEAT SHOWERING DOWN on the guy with the laptop. The computer fries! WHIP RIGHT. A blast hits the woman doing her makeup. There goes the eyeliner. WHIP BACK. It’s raining down on the influencers. They ain’t lookin’ so cute… but the phone is still rolling.

The makeup passenger and commuters take the full force of the water inside unbroken orange framing

Every attempt to contain the jacket forces another seam to burst. Our boy is now a human fountain, showering everything and everyone. Passengers panic, taking cover. The jacket is enormous, the water is firing in every direction, and the whole car has become a catastrophe.

At absolute peak chaos…

SMASH CUT.

We’re suddenly in a gorgeous, hyper-stylized AXE application and product shot. The camera is controlled. The lighting is beautiful. The noise of the train drops away. In CLOSE UP, we see our hero apply AXE antiperspirant. Clean skin, cool light, an unmistakable product moment. We give the pack its own hero shot.

Clean AXE application and pack shots framed by orange rails that continue into the floor

FOR DAYS THAT RUN HOT.

AXE -- 72H SWEAT PROTECTION.

↻ A spectacularly calm exitSource ↗

04 ONE LAST THING.

Final bumper: the subway pulls into the station.

DING.

The doors open and a massive WALL OF WATER explodes onto the platform. Once it clears, our guy casually steps out looking completely fresh. All that chaos, and he carries on like this was a perfectly normal commute.

AXE. DON’T SWEAT IT.

Example Shot List!

For you nervous Nancies wondering “but how can we fit all this great stuff into 60 seconds?!,” here is an example shot list. The opening gives us enough room to feel the squeeze; the cuts get faster as the jacket grows. Once the water starts firing, inserts and whip pans can land in a handful of frames. We leave room for the product moment and that final wall of water to really land.

SHOT01/ 45

TIGHT MCU — JUSTIN / SNOWY STREET

Justin walks toward camera through a brutally crowded NYC sidewalk. Snow, sleet, visible breath. Orange puffer zipped. Bodies constantly cross the foreground.

45 original boards, in their exact PDF order. Select a drawing to enlarge.

Original storyboard PDF ↗

READ THE COMPLETE SHOT LIST

Our Hero

Our dude fills out the “everyman” role. He's our window into this sweaty situation-- we aren’t just watching this go down. We’re empathizing with him. He’s not goofy. While the situation happening to him is absolutely insane, he plays it straight and reacts just like any of us would react if our jacket suddenly started filling up with sweat. At first he tries to ignore it, then when the problem becomes too big to ignore, he tries to do everything in his power to turn off the water works. He’s embarrassed and by the time his jacket turns into the Trevi Fountain, he’s downright panicking. This is the key to the spot. We want audiences to relate to our hero-- they can totally see themselves in this same situation and will stampede to the store for some AXE.

What does he look like? It’s very important he has a “smiley face” and a good-natured energy that makes him immediately likable. He’s attractive, but he’s not a model, cool but not TOO cool. We want to be him, but he doesn’t seem like he leads an unattainable life. We want to get the feeling that he wouldn’t rock the boat and doesn’t like causing a scene… This waterlogged jacket is his worst nightmare. He’s also got a cool sense of style without trying too hard. His jacket is trendy and it’s BRIGHT ORANGE. He’s got a cool haircut, some stylish sneakers, but he’s not over the top about it. He’s young, fun, and very GEN Z.

I think his background is made up of multiple ethnicities, cultures and experiences. The energy of actors like Jorge Lendeborg Jr., John Boyega, Justice Smith, Tyler Posey, Charles Melton, Dev Patel, Anthony Ramos, Tom Holland, or Joe Keery would be a good fit. Also, the performance ABSOLUTELY MUST have good comic timing. He plays the straight man, but he has to react to this situation in a way that’s entertaining. Those little improvised-feeling reactions will make him feel real. He has to be able to react to the tsunami coming out of his jacket and interact with the passengers he’s upsetting. This is the guy that sells this concept and makes it land.

Three hero portrait references within their original black metal frame and cream mat.

↻ Heat / performance referenceSelected film excerpt

The Passengers

This is not a clown car. It’s important to keep in mind that THE JACKET is the weirdest thing on this train. The humor comes from everyone reacting to it, not from the characters themselves. If everything is over the top, then nothing is.

Now, that’s not to say our characters don’t have personality, because they absolutely do! I don’t know about you, but in reality there are some real wack jobs on every subway I’ve ever been on. The key is that everyone on this train could actually be found in real life. We also want to pick the people who would be both unexpected and comical if showered with sweat.

Let’s make this a current and modern swath of passengers, with a strong Gen Z presence alongside the mix of ages you’d find on a packed commuter train. We want them racially, culturally and gender diverse— maybe one of the guys has his nails painted, another girl might be in trendy clothing, but wearing a hijab. None of these cultural signifiers are played for comedy, but rather to reflect the community we live in.

For the comedy, the characters we highlight should be characters that would react MOST POORLY if this happened to them in real life… a germaphobe. A guy finishing something important on a laptop (and no, he didn’t save). A woman trying to finish her makeup. Influencers filming the commute who suddenly become the content. And right beside our hero, a mom with a baby who has absolutely no patience for an expanding human water balloon. Around them, we can still have a man wearing suede, someone holding clean dry cleaning, a musician with an instrument, two teenagers making out, someone taking a bite of a delicious piece of pizza. Everyone has something they really, really don’t want covered in somebody else’s sweat.

I also want our passengers to be new characters, not the same stock characters that get used over and over again. A lot of comedy gold comes from the unexpected. For example, the character who’s grossed out by all of this and judging is not the token mean girl, but rather a trendy drag queen. Maybe the nun is in her 20s, not 80 years old. The people I put in the write up are just a starting place. I’m excited to collaborate with you to find the best people to make this LAUGH OUT LOUD hilarious.

Original eight-passenger photo grid and black dividers; no wall tiles.

Framed passenger with pink hair using a phone.

Framed young passenger wearing a patterned bucket hat.

Framed older passenger with sunglasses and a shearling-collar coat.

The Puffer Jacket

So this all sounds fun, but let’s talk about the elephant in the room, shall we? How the F@*#! are we going to create this jacket?!

Right off the bat, we want this to feel like a REAL JACKET trapping and spurting ACTUAL WATER. The more convincing the material, weight, and contact with the passengers, the better the concept sells. Every reaction needs to feel like somebody has actually been showered with it.

SO, with that in mind, how do we do it?! The key for me is keeping the physics in mind. We want this jacket to look like it’s filling with liquid and not air. There’s weight to water, and it would move more like a water bed than a hot air balloon. We also need to keep in mind the material. This jacket needs to be made of a waterproof, vinyl-like material that would trap water. It can’t be a fabric that would absorb it.

We need to see the same bright orange jacket change over the course of the spot. First it’s normal. Then it starts expanding. Then it’s a giant, overfilled water balloon taking over the subway car. Finally the pressure becomes impossible to contain and it starts spurting water. The quilted compartments stretch, the seams strain, and the whole thing gets bottom heavy, the way actual water would behave. As it gets more full, we need to see that weight shift and slosh when our hero moves.

When he pushes on one side, that pressure has to go somewhere. A button blows, a seam tears, another geyser fires. That cause and effect is the comedy. We should always understand why his attempts to fix it are making everything worse.

Also, storyboarding and tests are absolutely essential. We need to know exactly what’s happening in every shot so the jacket can fulfill all our needs. Its size, the placement of the leaks, and how much space it’s taking up need to track all the way through the chaos.

Four fashion puffer references, original black frame/dividers retained.

↻ Liquid has weightSource ↗

Metal-framed oversized blue puffer reference.

Metal-framed oversized yellow and black puffer reference.

The Real Star

Let’s spend some time talking about the real hero shot—aka the part of the spot where our guy applies AXE antiperspirant. The look and feel in this scene needs to be different from the rest of our film. This is the moment that stands out as calm, clean, and collected; the shift to calm in a claustrophobic underground hurricane. It’s important that we make it clear that AXE enables him to withstand whatever heat life throws at him. The key to doing that is in our cinematography and sound. We’ll use smoother motion, controlled sound design, and beautiful lighting.

At absolute peak catastrophe, we SMASH CUT into the application. Our camera is stable. It’s no longer whipping around or shaking with the chaos of the sweat storm we just witnessed. I’d also want to shift the color temperature cooler—AXE lowers the temperature of the visuals. We cut the cacophony and give this moment room to breathe.

We’ll use contrasty beauty lighting with some colored highlights and everything will be clean and editorial in style. The application and product shot should feel gorgeous and hyper-stylized: precise framing, beautiful skin, crisp pack detail. It needs to be immediately clear what he’s applying, and we give AXE a proper hero moment.

FOR DAYS THAT RUN HOT.

AXE -- 72H SWEAT PROTECTION.

Then we return to the train for the final bumper. The doors open, the built-up water comes crashing out, and our hero steps onto the platform completely fresh. That’s the punchline the whole pressure cooker has been building toward.

Framed front-facing hero/application reference.

Framed dark AXE Apollo can reference; original 48H scent package lettering retained.

Framed lit AXE Apollo can beauty reference; original 48H scent package lettering retained.

Framed underarm spray application reference.

Tone + Style

In the world of RUSH HOUR, hyperbole becomes reality. This is a nightmare come to life! We’re taking the feeling of sweating through your clothes, jacking it up on steroids and taking it out into the real world. This spot isn’t afraid to GO BIG! Think of this as a miniature disaster movie on a subway. Hilarious, claustrophobic, and completely out of control. The jacket might be SURREAL, but the people reacting to it are REAL. We want to watch what would unfold if this really went down on the subway! Tonally, this is tongue in cheek. Think of it as POP ART! Chaos may be unfolding, but there’s a wry smile to the way it all unfolds. Visually, this also looks like a world we’d want to hang out in. The train has a cool design, but it’s crowded, hot, and lived-in. The passengers look interesting. It’s fun and poppy. Bright colors, exaggerated situations, and irreverent humor with a bit of an edge will make this really stand out.

↻ Play it straightSource ↗

Original full photograph of five seated commuters reacting on the subway.

Metal-framed left station/flood photograph from Tone + Style.

Metal-framed central hero engulfed in a dramatic splash, from Tone + Style.

Metal-framed right station/flood photograph from Tone + Style.

Cinematography

With such an insane concept, we’re relying on our cinematography to build the world. There’s a visual claustrophobia running through the course of the spot. I want to shoot on long lenses, compressing the space. We should also have foreground elements in nearly every shot, feeling a piece of the crowd around our hero. This subway is SUFFOCATING. It might be nice to fog up the windows and have a layer of steam in the set so we see the humidity in the air. Also, using Anamorphics will show off the width of this jacket and really give us the landscape to play with all the chaos caused by this monsoon of sweat.

I also want a kinetic energy in the shots. A little camera shake throughout will help us sell the movement of the train. As water starts to fly, I want our camera to MOVE. Whip pans, push ins and crash zooms will serve us well. The bigger and more explosive the jacket gets, the more crazy our camera. We stop the frenzy at the smash cut into the AXE application shot. Visual energy in the shots mirrors the lack of control of our protagonist. Through the application and product shot, our framing is stable. AXE gives us back that sense of calm. The same goes with our color palette. I want the color temperature to shift warmer and warmer as our protagonist gets hotter. We turn up the heat with the color until the application shot. After this, we shift cooler so we can feel the heat dissipate thanks to AXE!

For the final bumper, I want to give the wall of water a clear, confident frame from the platform. We need to see the doors open and feel the scale of what comes out. Then we hold long enough for the water to clear and our hero to casually step through it. The camera gives him space to play it completely straight. He’s just getting off the train. That’s what makes it funny.

Also, being on a subway gives us the opportunity to utilize a bit of “style” with the lighting. Integrating some neon or fluorescent bars where it makes sense could add a cool factor to the natural design of the train. Similarly, we want to feel the MOVEMENT of the train in the lighting— colored flashes that mimic the traveling of a train will both help our style and give us a sense of acceleration and speed. It might be cool if these flashes increase in pace as we move along, helping us build up the tension as this jacket gets more and more waterlogged. With these little flourishes, though, it’s important to remember they’re more exaggerating our natural environment. It should be style built on top of what would already be there, not excess style if that makes sense… the lighting flashes would be coming from the windows in real life. Ours just happen to look a little cooler.

Photo-only rectangular crop of all six cinematography reference strips; puffer fabric and zipper omitted.

↻ Every pan has a targetSource ↗

Metal-framed falling figure in red trousers amid a large turquoise splash.

HEAT / PRESSURE

AXE / CONTROL

Design

This spot exists in its own world. We’re going to go for our own “cool version” of an American subway. It’s just a little trendier than what you’d find in most major cities. Graffiti, maybe some neon or fluorescent bars, bold color on the seats… If Gen Z designed public transit, it would look like this. The visual design is poppy, but we still need the grime, scratches, scuffed metal, and wear that make it feel like an actual working train. It’s hot, claustrophobic, and absolutely packed.

I also want to keep in mind the color scheme. Since ORANGE is the color of our jacket, we want to make sure none of the other characters are dressed in it so it really stands out. Also, we’d want to incorporate that color scheme in the design of the train— with brushed steel and blue seats to complement the jacket. Everything should draw our eyes to it. It’s the show stopper.

We also want to pay attention to the little details. Signage on the train shouldn’t be obvious, but on closer examination it’s funny. Maybe there are even some AXE adverts in the background. The clothing of most of our passengers is trendy and cool— some have tats and piercings. I want each person featured on this train to have a personality signaled by their clothing. For example the germaphobe is in gloves and a mask. The lady with the dog might have matching sweaters. Nothing is distracting from the surreal jacket raining down on us, but it just adds some texture and gives us an idea of the characters rather than “extra #1.”

Original train-design/commuter/dog/protected-passenger photo collage; orange puffer fabric and zipper omitted.

↻ Make the impossible feel physicalSource ↗

PUFFER ORANGESUBWAY BLUEBRUSHED STEELWARM LIGHT

Edit + VFX

We’re going to create a landscape for your mind. I want to do a pressure build—slowly increasing the stress toward our hero’s boiling point. We start out with enough room to feel the squeeze, and as the ride gets crazier and the jacket gets bigger, the cutting gets faster! We can also play with speed ramps to add humor and a sense of spectacle to what’s happening on screen. Ramping as the water flies then SLOWING at the moment of the hit will really catch the drama of these poor passengers being pelted.

With VFX, we’re really able to push and polish the visuals. Adding excess spray, fog, debris, and camera shake will add to the chaos and make this more exciting. The water needs to interact with the jacket, the people, and the train. We want weight, splashes, wet surfaces, and clear contact so every hit lands. Moving backgrounds outside the subway windows will help sell the speed and build the tension.

The application is a decisive smash cut out of the madness into a gorgeous product moment. Then we come back for the doors opening and the wall of water. The edit needs to protect both payoffs: we get a proper moment with AXE, and we still have one enormous surprise waiting at the station.

↻ Jacket / pressure referenceSelected film excerpt

Sound + Music

Sound will be essential to building the tension. From the second our man appears on screen, we’re going to put him in a pressure cooker, building the claustrophobia and anxiety in the environment until he literally sweats right through his clothes. We’re using sound to turn up the temperature, maybe creating a montage with the naturally stressful sounds of a packed train. The train gets louder and more strident as we go along, and we might even add additional risers into the mix such as a tea kettle boiling.

I also want to hear the sounds of our hero’s anxiety—his heart beating and his breath increasing as he gets hotter. We want to hear the sounds of the jacket straining and groaning to retain the water. When all hell breaks loose, I want to hear the sweat GUSHING, sloshing around and splashing dramatically, along with the sounds of people screaming and yelling in panic. Our sound design is going to add to the drama and make this even more intense. It builds and builds and builds until…

SMASH CUT. On the AXE application shot, we drop out the cacophony. Cutting out most of the sound here will add a sense of calm to the product moment. The application gets its own clean, satisfying sound, and the whole world feels cooler.

As far as music, to start, we want a low rhythmic track that increases in pace like a ticking clock. Ideally, it’s something that will allow us to build sound design on top of it. The soundtrack should give the spot a musical throughline while leaving room for the train, the jacket, and every ridiculous hit. After our hero uses AXE, we can give the music a confident, hip-hop inspired lift to carry that fresh exit.

For the final bumper, we hear the train pull in. A clean, unmistakable DING. A tiny beat before the doors open, then the enormous rush of that wall of water hitting the platform. Once it clears, our guy steps out completely fresh. The music lands with him, and we finish on AXE. DON’T SWEAT IT.

DINGTHE BEAT BEFORE THE FLOOD.

Director’s Process

I’m one of those directors who lives for pre-production.

Storyboarding is my JAM. I love mapping out every frame ahead of time and going back and forth with the creatives to trade ideas. Animatics, mood boards, and references play a big part. On this film especially, tests of the expanding jacket and water effects will be essential. We need to see how the normal jacket becomes the giant water balloon, how each leak develops, and how the reactions cut together.

This whole process should be fun and collaborative! I love going back and forth on elements to push the script to be as awesome as possible. We’ll go through every shot ahead of time so we can clarify any questions and see how we can make it better. That way, when we are executing, we already know what we are doing and we can be very efficient.

Additionally, I have a very strong background in post-production and have edited quite a bit. I shoot for the edit. Thinking ahead about how this will cut and how the VFX will factor in will help us greatly when we get to putting it all together. I even like to edit the storyboards together ahead of time so we have an idea about timing and can adjust the shots accordingly before we make them.

Storyboard sketch of pressure bursting from the puffer

Storyboard sketch of water erupting from the train doors

EXPLORE THE SHOT LIST ↗

Don’t Be Boring!

Thank You!

I meant what I said at the top. This is one of those ideas that I would be jealous watching if it wasn’t made by me. This script combines everything I love in a project—this sense of humor and surreal style are what I live for creatively.

I want to push this to the next level, to get it to the point where people are sharing it on social media because it’s such a wild showcase of a great product. I want to nail this for AXE because this is the definition of “my kinda shit.”

AXE has created my favorite commercials of all time. Spots like Angels Will Fall, Make Love Not War, and Getting Dressed are some of the reasons I started directing commercials in the first place. To be able to reimagine the AXE brand for this generation, while staying true to the humor and quality that came before, it’s a total blast!

I’m looking forward to your thoughts and can’t wait to get wet! It’s for AXE after all.

A TREATMENT BYCASSANDRA BROOKSBANKAXE // RUSH HOUR :60